sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
