good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize