WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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