i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you still have your period?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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