You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
