Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
