Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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