it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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