maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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