I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
