talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
