Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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