Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well