Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Little spoons don't ask big questions
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
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The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
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If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.