Texts From Last Night

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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?

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  (251): Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl? http://tfl.nu/mkwq
  Replies (38) Good night (1043) Bad night (3849)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.

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  (763): The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled. http://tfl.nu/m5fs
  Replies (26) Good night (1149) Bad night (5217)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...

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  (973): doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea... http://tfl.nu/umc9
  Replies (18) Good night (960) Bad night (4721)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.

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  (519): I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex. http://tfl.nu/m5l5
  Replies (11) Good night (1023) Bad night (3814)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard

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  (317): i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard http://tfl.nu/sbl9
  Replies (10) Good night (1191) Bad night (3345)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  hungover and i feel like a burrito

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  like eating one or like you are one?

  (850): View more from Florida

  like i am one.

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  (850): hungover and i feel like a burrito (1-850): like eating one or like you are one? (850): like i am one. http://tfl.nu/h242
  Replies (10) Good night (2405) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs

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  (403): Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs http://tfl.nu/f0zi
  Replies (3) Good night (2539) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.

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  (760): I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment. http://tfl.nu/vulx
  Replies (2) Good night (947) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read

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  (435): I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read http://tfl.nu/7a19
  Replies (14) Good night (2826) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting

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  (580): This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting http://tfl.nu/ouax
  Replies (10) Good night (1087) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.

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  (203): Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/mf50
  Replies (1) Good night (1022) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.

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  (716): It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off. http://tfl.nu/gyby
  Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If you need anything just hit me up

  (845): View more from New York

  Pancakes

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Noted.

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  (201): If you need anything just hit me up (845): Pancakes (201): Noted. http://tfl.nu/a0ik
  Replies (1) Good night (944) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...

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  (778): She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there... http://tfl.nu/opdp
  Replies (1) Good night (284) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team

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  (630): I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team http://tfl.nu/5lox
  Replies (3) Good night (486) Bad night (191)

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