can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits