i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
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Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.