He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
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Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
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No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Help me help you realize you are a moron