Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.

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(613): I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ. http://tfl.nu/qy75

Replies (37) Good night (25565) Bad night (1052)
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(616): View more from Michigan

no weekend plans? you're practically married

(1-616): View more from Michigan

just without the last name or joint bank account

(616): View more from Michigan

i'd advise against both

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(616): no weekend plans? you're practically married (1-616): just without the last name or joint bank account (616): i'd advise against both http://tfl.nu/dufy

Replies (6) Good night (983) Bad night (1967)
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(818): View more from California

The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".

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(818): The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp". http://tfl.nu/1x9v

Replies (17) Good night (3076) Bad night (1014)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.

(773): View more from Illinois

Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?

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(773): I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex. (773): Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"? http://tfl.nu/bxnr

Replies (15) Good night (855) Bad night (2155)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen

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(978): Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen http://tfl.nu/ycl6

Replies (27) Good night (2673) Bad night (998)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"

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(970): Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker" http://tfl.nu/30jj

Replies (44) Good night (18316) Bad night (1234)
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(626): View more from California

a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms

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(626): a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms http://tfl.nu/zv9q

Replies (6) Good night (901) Bad night (3839)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.

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(505): Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car. http://tfl.nu/bc5h

Replies (1) Good night (1774) Bad night (823)
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(631): View more from New York

She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.

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(631): She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink. http://tfl.nu/f50x

Replies (20) Good night (1422) Bad night (593)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best

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(204): when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this? (1-204): ....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best http://tfl.nu/o3b5

Replies (7) Good night (2348) Bad night (668)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch

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(815): Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch http://tfl.nu/nhct

Replies (3) Good night (816) Bad night (884)
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(917): View more from New York City

She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.

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(917): She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl. http://tfl.nu/btqg

Replies (1) Good night (1384) Bad night (831)
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(517): View more from Michigan

It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.

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(517): It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals. http://tfl.nu/8hcd

Replies (0) Good night (703) Bad night (332)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.

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(701): I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks. http://tfl.nu/hedo

Replies (4) Good night (1268) Bad night (432)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again

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(610): Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again http://tfl.nu/400n

Replies (5) Good night (668) Bad night (344)

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