Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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