ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
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Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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