i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
