you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
