the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize