I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
