brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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