My Higher Power is John Stamos
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I smell like Dick and happiness
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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