What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Less talking, more tequila
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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