what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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