Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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