I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
