I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize