I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
