We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
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we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
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I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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