I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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