Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
