how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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