just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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