My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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