Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
