Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
