he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
