he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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