Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Alive.
So much puke
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
