if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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