A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
