Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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