How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
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I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
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That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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