he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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