apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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