i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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