Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I want a musical about memes.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Couch. On fire.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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