wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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