shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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