Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
