so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
