Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
