No awkward lesbian experiences without me
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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