Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Be still, my beating vagina.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize