its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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