He asked to "fluff my boner.."
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
