If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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