good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I still have a little drunk in my system
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
