Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Farmville is her only friend.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
