I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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