Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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