I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
