If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
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